Oral Health Group

Ode to Randy

April 1, 2010
by Jordan Soll, DDS

In 1997, I joined the editorial board of Oral Health as the first cosmetic consultant. From my initial board meeting 13 years ago, my experience has been incredibly rewarding. I have had the pleasure of interacting with some remarkable individuals who bring a diversified perspective to the issues that a magazine as successful as Oral Health deals with. It is with all the members of this team that I receive a great deal of camaraderie in dentistry. However, no board meeting would be complete without the wisdom and humour of the Co-Chair, Dr. Randy Lang.

His thoughtful and humorous editorials in the orthodontic issue always tickle our funny bones. I remember Randy’s 4th year lectures about removable appliances (probably the most useful lecture for me in ortho) and what to do with the appliances once the treatment was complete. Randy’s accomplishments and guidance to his students culminated last spring when he was honoured by his peers and the University of Toronto with an Award of Achievement.


Usually my editorials/viewpoints are ramblings about entrepreneurial topics, current thoughts that relate to the achievement of our profession, and suggestions on the way forward in turbulent times. However, recently I came across an email that had me smiling with the witty humour. So, in a tribute to Randy and his antics, I pass along these thought-provoking questions. Ponder on these imponderables for a moment:

1. If people from Poland are Poles, why aren’t people from Holland Holes?

2. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

3. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

4. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

5. Why, is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

6. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

8. Why are a wise man and a wise guy, opposites?

9. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

10. “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

11. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licences of bald men?

14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the post office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

15. No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

16. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

17. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

18. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?


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