“Do Kids Ruin Everything?” That was the topic of a discussion on a morning radio station, which I was listening to while my son, Ajay, was driving me to work so he could use my car. The hosts talked about how their careers were derailed and their lifestyles changed because of their kids. After he dropped me off, I thought of how my kids affected my career. Within five years of graduating, in succession, I got a husband, dog, house, son and daughter. While some said my life was starting, I felt my life was over.
I was planning on buying a dental office. When my practice broker called me to say he found the perfect office, I excitedly met the practice owner while my husband stayed with one-month-old Ajay in the car. I couldn’t focus on anything the owner was telling me. I kept thinking, “I have to feed my baby.” I didn’t buy that office or any other. I put that dream aside and got pregnant with my daughter, Mya, eight months later.
I was doing dentistry while pregnant and it was hard. I remember vomiting in between patients when I had morning sickness with my son. I remember a patient saying, “I think your baby just kicked me,” when I sat too close. I was so tired but the absolute exhaustion happened after my kids were born. Little sleep, no free time, and responsibility for keeping babies alive were tougher than dental school. What I thought would be the best time in my life was the worst.
I returned to work part-time when Ajay was three months old and later when Mya was five months old. I was still nursing, which meant pumping milk while I was driving, wearing two nursing bras and two scrub tops so I wouldn’t leak on my patients, and squirting milk in the sink in between patients when I felt full. Despite how hard it was to work while my kids were young, I loved it! It was so relaxing doing dentistry compared to parenthood. Do kids ruin everything? No, they made me love dentistry again.
While I was starting to enjoy dentistry, I wanted to do more but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the time, money or energy to take advanced courses. I left associating and went into teaching and public health because of the steady hours. I planned on putting my career aspirations aside until my kids were in high school. Then my daughter got into rep baseball at the age of eight and she was often away from home at practices and games. I remember sobbing on my bed like I never cried before because I missed her so much. Then I thought, if Mya is pursuing her dream, I should pursue mine. I started volunteering for my local and provincial dental associations. That was the start of my path into advocacy, writing, speaking, organizing, volunteering, and mentoring. While some look to their parents for inspiration, I looked at my youngest child for mine.
Do kids ruin everything? No, they change everything. They change the paths we take and the decisions we make. While we create them, they transform us. When Ajay picked me up, I thought about how my career changed after having him – how I changed after having him – for the better. On the way home, we didn’t listen to the radio.
About the Author:
Dr. Sanjukta Mohanta is a general dentist who graduated from the University of Toronto in 1999. She practices in Brampton, Ontario. She can be reached by email: sanjuktamohanta@hotmail.com
